


We may not all be gay, but we sure aren't straight

by cocoabeanwriting



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/F, F/M, I got bored, Lots of saiouma but I’m nOT a fujoshi that’s fuckign disgusting, M/M, Multi, Swearing, congrats its anOTHER CHATFIC, uh, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:29:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocoabeanwriting/pseuds/cocoabeanwriting
Summary: Akamatsu Kaede added Saihara Shuuichi, Ouma Kokichi and 13 others.





	1. Cover your ears

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hello hi! My name is Jayde and I'm writing a chatfic.  
> These are much easier to write for me once I get an idea, so uh. Yeah! I guess this is happening now.  
> Updates will be whenever I have an idea, so I'm sorry if I disappear for a while and don't update. I'm just stewing in my own thoughts. Like a loser.  
> I also really wanted to write this mainly to dump my headcanons onto a chatfic so hhhhere we go I guess  
> and uh. I'm unoriginal. Thanks bye  
> (end notes have the nicknames)

**_Akamatsu Kaede added Saihara Shuuichi, Ouma Kokichi and 13 others_ **

 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** Heyoooo

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** wh??

 

**Chabashira Tenko:** why

 

**Yumeno Himiko:** h

 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** Ok well I thought it might be nice to be able to talk outside of school hours, y’know?

 

**Saihara Shuuichi:** oh

 

**Saihara Shuuichi:** respectfully disagree

 

**Ouma Kokichi:** Well if we’re gonna have a group chat

 

**_Ouma Kokichi_ ** **renamed the group** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**_Ouma Kokichi changed 15 nicknames_ **

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** And to all, a good night

 

**Spread ‘em:** kokichi no

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** Kokichi yes

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** Okay, first of all,

 

**Hatsune Miku:** My hair’s blue??

 

**_Hatsune Miku_ ** **changed** **_Hatsune Miku_ ** **’s nickname to** **_KAITO_ **

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** major oof

 

**Kai’s Toes:** oi that’s me stop stealing my identity I’m calling the police

 

**Kai’s Toes:** also

 

**Kai’s Toes:** ??? I don’t understand mine

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** I just thought of it one day

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** Poor Kai

 

**Kai’s Toes:** ?????????????????????????????????????

 

**Hawumwaki:** I hate this and I hate you

  
  


**Spread ‘em:** i dont hate you i just hate my nickname

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** ily

 

**Spread ‘em:** ilyt

 

**Spread ‘em:** can i change it now

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** no

 

**Spread ‘em:** oh

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** tough love

 

**It’s my majic :333:** gay

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** no u

 

**It’s my majic :333:** die

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** :(

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** I do not understand my username either. Please explain.

 

**KAITO:** Nier Automata

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** Nier Automata

 

**Spread ‘em:** Nier Automata

 

**It’s my majic :333:** Nier Automata

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** Nier Automata

 

**Kai’s Toes:** Nier Automata

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** I believe I understand now.

 

**Androphobia.mov:** I’m not,,, afraid of them

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** are you sure about that

 

**Androphobia.mov:** yes

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** whatever you say

 

**Androphobia.mov:** IT’S LITERALLY JUST 

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** It’s no use. He will never give up.

 

**Would-you-like-to-suck-my-balls:** Why, Ouma-kun?

 

**Anthro. That’s it.:** I second that.

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** Ive gotten used to this by now tbh

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** :)

 

**Spread ‘em:** That was… Cryptic

 

**KAITO:** terrifying

 

**_[May 12th, 2018, 3:37pm]_ **

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** Hihihihiihihihiihhihihiihihihihihihihiihihiih

 

**KAITO:** are you ok amami-kun jfc

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** hehehehheyeyeyheyehdfudjnfbhdj

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** hey shirogane wanna spend the entire rest of the day away from the dorms??? Far away?? Hey lets go to australia i’ve always wanted to see a tree kangaroo

 

**KAITO:** are you ok

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** yo I’m down to see a tree kangaroo they look awesome

 

**KAITO:** thAT’S BESIDE THE POINT HOSHI-KUN

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** nowijhfredbjfgfjcd im ffffffffffine lets go cmon ill book ud yivkgjtfbgf v 

 

**It’s my majic :333:** do you need a doctor

 

**Kai’s Toes:** ughghhg who’s fucking

 

**It’s my majic :333:** w h a t

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** h

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** _ how did you know _

 

**It’s my majic :333:** _ W H A T _

 

**Hawumwaki:** how  _ did  _ you know, Kaito?

 

**Kai’s Toes:** because that was precisely my reaction when I first

 

**Kai’s Toes:** ahem

 

**Kai’s Toes:** _ experienced sounds _

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** oh my god

 

**Androphobia.mov:** even the tree kangaroos?

 

**Kai’s Toes:** yes. Even the f u c k i n g tree kangaroos.

 

**Androphobia.mov:** y i k e s 

 

**According to all known law of aviation:** Experienced sounds? Gonta not know what that mean…

 

**Square up thot:** Whoop, that’s my cue

 

**Square up thot:** so,

 

**_KAITO_ ** **removed** **_Square up thot_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Kai’s Toes:** F

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** F

 

**Hawumwaki:** eh

 

**It’s my majic :333:** TJRFJKDGJRHFKRHJDFNBRJFHDj

 

**KAITO:** gotta protecc that man

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** ^

 

**Kai’s Toes:** wait, so,

 

**Kai’s Toes:** care to tell me who’s

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** the bisexual and the big gay

 

**Anthrophobia.mov:** holy shit our mums are doing the do

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** lol no

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** lol no

 

**Hawumwaki:** o h   g o d

 

**Kai’s Toes:** fuck

 

**It’s my majic :333:** h

 

**KAITO:** this is,,,,, new

 

**Androphobia.mov:** sorry in advance but I must confirm my suspicions

 

**Androphobia.mov:** @everyone

 

**13 people are currently online**

 

**_Androphobia.mov_ ** **added** **_Square up thot_ **

 

**Square up thot:** I’m back, bitches

 

**Bob Ross:** I was busy but you d a r e @ everyone?? How dare

 

**Anthro. That’s it:** what now

 

**Would-you-like-to-suck-my-balls:** I was pinged?

 

**Androphobia.mov:** that’s everyone who wasn’t already online, right

 

**Kai’s Toes:** yeah?

 

**Kai’s Toes:** oh shit it’s been proven

 

**It’s my majic :333:** oh god

 

**Would-you-like-to-suck-my-balls:** ???????????????

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** scroll up

 

**Bob Ross:** t h a t ‘ s   n o t b i b l i c a l

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** woah woah woah woah woah woah woah

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** you’re not saying what I think you are

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** _ right, Amami-kun? _

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** im afraid to admit it is

 

**Square up thot:** who’s bottom

 

**Kai’s Toes:** ew

 

**Hawumwaki:** uh

 

**KAITO:** ew

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** Gross! Don’t talk about this sort of thing!!

 

**According to all known law of aviation:** Gonta not understand… Top? Bottom?

 

**KAITO:** It’s ok go to sleep ignore the evil demon in the chat

 

**Square up thot:** o u c h

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** come find out for yourself weirdo

 

**Square up thot:** It’s definitely shyhara

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** I’m sorry w ha t

 

**Square up thot:** i

 

**Square up thot:** i

 

**Square up thot:** 10101001011101001000010101010101010100101101001

 

**KAITO:** wh

 

**Hawumwaki:** goodbye I refuse to listen to this conversation

 

**_Hawumwaki_ ** **removed** **_Hawumwaki_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** what a legend

 

**Square up thot:** sh

 

**Square up thot:** shota boy tell em

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** I am going to kill all of you and then myself

 

**Spread ‘em:** I aagehdjehednf 

 

**Spread ‘em:** I consent, kill me too

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **removed** **_You’re a guacaMOLE, Square up thot_ ** **and 13 others from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **is offline.**


	2. Thesaurus.com

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened here

**_[13th May, 2018, 2:05pm]_ **

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **added** **_Spread ‘em_ ** **to** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** help

 

 **Spread ‘em:** why???? What happened

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** You know very well what happened

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** Why do you think I removed everyone

 

**Spread ‘em:** _ I told you it was a bad idea _

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** :’(

 

**Spread ‘em:** you should’ve listened smh

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** dONT ACT LiKE I’M IN THE WRONG HERE

 

**Spread ‘em:** acts like you’re in the wrong

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** wow

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **added** **_Square up thot, I want Ayase Eli to vore me_ ** **and 12 others to** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** hi guys welcome to my scoutign video todya we’ll be scitufinhg orfm snow white irko kokm lets gom bros

 

**KAITO:** oh my god are you ok

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** you’re not doing it right!! you need to let your audience know how many love gems, tickets, blue coupons, etc. you’ll be using to get riko!!!!

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** hi guys welcome to my schoiufkting video today we’ll be scouting for snow hitwhite riko we have 300 blute coupleinons and 5o0 lovr egems lets go

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** holy shit 500 love gems and 300 bc??? dude how do you restrain yourself from spending them

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** I bought them all last night

 

**Kai’s Toes:** Oh really now

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **removed** **_Kai’s Toes_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** destroyed

 

**It’s my majic :333:** oh yeah, speaking of last night,

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **removed** **_It’s my majic :333_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** holy shit i got riko first pull

 

**Androphobia.mov:** you little f u c k i n g bitch

 

**_Androphobia.mov_ ** **added** **_It’s my majic :333_ ** **to** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** you w h a t 

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** she_a_cutie.jpg

 

**KAITO:** no!! Fair!!!!!!!

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** what do I do with all these love gems now

 

**Spread ‘em:** you leave them so you dont spend your pay on virtual currency

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** that new Rin card is suuuper cute omg

 

**Spread ‘em:** k

 

**Spread ‘em:** k o k i c h i

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** s

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** s h u u i c h i

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** haha I just realised how accurate your username is now saihara

 

**_Spread ‘em_ ** **removed** **_You’re a guacaMOLE_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Spread ‘em:** p e r i s h

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** are you just going to ignore what happened, then?

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** yes

 

**Spread ‘em:** yes, yes, one thousand times y e s

 

**It’s my majic :333:** frjkdnmbHRBDGHUJRNDBHFD

 

**Hawumwaki:** why’d you get rid of kaito

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** I felt like he was hinting

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** at

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **is offline**

 

**KAITO:** oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead

 

**Hawumwaki:** can I add him back

 

**Spread ‘em:** first of all, he’s alive

 

**Spread ‘em:** secondly, yeah sure idrc

 

**_Hawumwaki_ ** **added** **_Kai’s Toes_ ** **to** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**Kai’s Toes:** i n h a l e

 

**Spread ‘em:** holy shit it’s mother’s day

 

**Spread ‘em:** I should probably call my mum a h a wh00ps,,,,

 

**Bob Ross:** Angie too!

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** _ @spitting image of 2B @I want Ayase Eli to vore me _ happy mother’s day!!

 

**Spitting image of 2B:** Thank you, gremlin child.

 

**I want Ayase Eli to vore me:** thanks!!

 

**Kai’s Toes:** they’ve accepted it

 

**Would-you-like-to-suck-my-balls:** Wouldn’t it be more sufficient to say that to your  _ real  _ mother, Ouma-kun?

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** Probably, I wouldn’t know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

**Spread ‘em:** kokichi please dont cry :(

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** hahsbnhdjdrdjdjjcnncmdxmsiisopd

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** tttttotooookjfnjfn lahte

 

**Spread ‘em:** come to my room ok

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **is offline.**

 

**Spread ‘em:** if a n y o n e even th i n k s about pasting a lenny face, you will feel my wrath

 

**Kai’s Toes:** damnit

 

**_[May 13th, 2018, 7:58pm]_ **

 

**_KAITO_ ** **added** **_You’re a guacaMOLE_ ** **to** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** tOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

 

**KAITO:** are we still going to Australia?

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** uh

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** are you straight?   
  


**KAITO:** no

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** question answered, I’ll bring you a souvenir when I go next

 

**KAITO:** bitch

 

**KAITO:** i_am_t_h_i_s_f_u_c_k_i_n_g_c_l_o_s_e.jpg

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** don’t remove me again daddy

 

**Hawumwaki:** why did you just

 

**It’s my majic :333:** did you just

 

**According to all known law of aviation:** ?

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** lmao I just realized your nickname is an unfunny meme ah a

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** ouma is an unfunny meme

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** slaughtered 

 

**It’s my majic :333:** how many synonyms for killed do you have

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** a

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** _ plethora _

 

**Kai’s Toes:** wow

 

**_Lives in the vegetable crisper_ ** **changed** **_According to all known law of aviation_ ** **’s nickname to** **_Good egg_ **

 

**Good egg:** thank you, Hoshi-kun!

 

**Kai’s Toes:** cryignf

 

**KAITO:** look at that wholesome boy

 

**Lives in the vegetable crisper:** we love you gokuhara

 

**Good egg:** Gonta love friends too!!

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** s o b b i  n gfvhue

 

**_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **is online**

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** h

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** hewwo?

 

**Kai’s Toes:** great

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** he’s here

 

**_Spread ‘em_ ** **is online**

 

**Spread ‘em:** hewwo owo uwu nya desu kawaii sugoi ^///w///^

 

**KAITO:** the evil spirit ouma-kun has infected him

 

**Spread ‘em:** jfc take a joke

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** wow shiroganya-chan thanks a lo,,,t

 

**Spread ‘em:** jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjfrfkdcxfderfmdcx

 

**Kai’s Toes:** S H I R O G A N Y A - C H A N

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** ibdhjrefdfdc

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** what??? Shes?? A nyanshjjdhjdskcx?????????????????

 

**Spread ‘em:** are you ok

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** no

 

**Spread ‘em:** understandable have a nice day

 

**Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare:** thanks daddy

 

**_Spread ‘em_ ** **removed** **_Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare_ ** **from** **_We may not all be gay, but we sure aren’t straight_ **

 

**You’re a guacaMOLE:** eradicated 

 

**Spread ‘em:** gtfo amami

 

**Kai’s Toes:** a s s a s s i n a t e d

 

**Hawumwaki:** ok

 

**Kai’s Toes:** fuc go back

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever wanna talk or someth feel free to hmu on twitter or instagram, both @deeriaxx

**Author's Note:**

> whoop  
> uh  
> I hope you enjoyed? I guess? Hhnngh
> 
> If you're wondering:
> 
> Ouma i yo hitotsu ni nare: Kokichi  
> Spread 'em: Shuuichi  
> I want Ayase Eli to vore me: Kaede  
> Spitting image of 2B: Kirumi  
> KAITO: Tsumugi  
> Hawumwaki: Maki  
> Bob Ross: Angie  
> Anthro. That's it.: Korekiyo  
> It's my majic :333: Himiko  
> Lives in the vegetable crisper: Ryouma  
> You're a guacaMOLE: Rantarou  
> Square up thot: Miu  
> According to all known law of aviation: Gonta  
> Kai's Toes: Kaito  
> Would-you-like-to-suck-my-balls: Kiibo  
> Androphobia.mov: Tenko
> 
> Uh  
> byeonara


End file.
